My generous in-laws invite us to use their luxurious cabin in the mountains, rent-free, a few times throughout the year. We usually invite another family to enjoy a holiday with us, and divvy up the meals and other costs accordingly. Most, if not all of our guests go out of their way to pay for restaurants, etc. as a token of their appreciation for the invitation to join us at the cabin. This is certainly not expected, but always appreciated given the rental rates for cabins in the area are seriously off-the-charts $$$!
Recently, I invited a friend & her family (2-adults, 2-kids) to join us for our upcoming holiday at the cabin. We agreed on the dates and began planning our adventures. A few days later, while attending a charity luncheon, my friend invited another woman and her family, whom I am not acquainted with, to join us for a few days at the cabin during our upcoming holiday. I was without words and unable to respond before she audaciously stated it shouldn’t be an issue because there was enough room for their family of four (bed-wise) to stay with us at the cabin.
I told her I needed time to think about her ‘very unexpected’ proposal and that I would get back to her. It’s now been 3-weeks and I haven’t called her back because I don’t want to have a conflict with her prior to our holiday time together, which is rapidly approaching!
What should I say to convince her we’re not interested in a full house of her friends and their kids during our vacation time at the cabin this spring…?
Dear Full House,
I have always felt it is important to approach such matters with a backbone. Apparently you were born without one…?
There is and always has been a simple solution to your self-made sandstorm my dear. An immediate correction to the erroneous assumption of ‘the-more-the-merrier’ would have instantly done the trick.
However, since that honest, straightforward assertion was not accessed in the moment, it is now time to put on your big girl panties, take a nice, deep breath, and call your ‘friend’ to let her know you would prefer to keep your holiday between your two families without any uninvited ‘additions’ on her part. Period.
If your ‘friend’ has a stitch of civility, even a ribbon of class, there should be no further discussion surrounding the matter, perhaps even an apology for her incredibly assumptive rudeness….
However, this is all dependent upon you not misplacing your backbone again!
Should your ‘friend’ take any issue with your oh-so-very-final decision, perhaps you should invite her and her family to vacation elsewhere with their friends this spring, as you would prefer to invite more gracious guests to the cabin on your upcoming holiday, Yes???
Out of concern for the strength and the general constitution of your precarious vertebrae, going forward please memorize these words of sagacity and use them often.
‘Gosh, that really doesn’t work for me…’
Ah, pearls of wisdom that will simplify your life significantly. May you and your backbone become better acquainted. 😉