Dear Matilda

Dear Matilda

Thelma & Louise

Dear Matilda,

One of my best gal pals from college lives across the country. We have remained very close over the years, talking several times a week by phone and Skype. Two months ago, we decided to plan a road trip to Colorado to visit her niece, whom I’m very close with. We’re both really excited to have a bit of quality face-to-face time together while traveling. So, we’ve been enthusiastically planning excursions and adventures into our 6-day journey, including museums, shopping, a girls spa day, hiking a few national parks, fun restaurants to visit with her niece, etc.

Then, about three weeks ago, I was contacted by another friend from college whom I have consciously maintained little interaction with over the years. She informed me that she’d heard about our road trip and invited herself to join us.

As I mentioned, I have never pursued a relationship with this person since college because, in a nut shell, she’s a total mooch who is exhaustive in her demand for non-stop attention, drama, and endless nonsensical chatter. In the past, during reunions and post-graduation gatherings, she has never offered to share in the expenses whether it’s for gas, food or lodging, always stating she can’t afford it, even though she most certainly can…

Now, we feel our whimsical, light-hearted road trip has been hijacked by this ‘friend’, and we are left with the awkward decision to hurt her feelings or cancel the trip altogether. Any ideas for us…?

– Thelma & Louise



Dear Thelma & Louise,

Similar to the fabulous women in one of my favorite movies ‘Thelma & Louise’, you and your gal pal need to grow a pair of cohunes. This begins with just saying ‘No’ to your unwelcome, uninvited intruder. Here’s how it goes, you simply pick up the phone, create a 3-way conference call, and inform her you have mutually made the decision to stick with your original plan to make your upcoming travels a girl’s road trip for two!

If your parasitic friend has any issues with your decision, enthusiastically embrace the idea of her taking full responsibility for planning and arranging reservations, deposits, etc. for a girl’s trip next year, then both you and Louise say ‘Goodbye…’

A simple note of caution, prior to your conference call, please make absolutely certain that both you and Louise hold to the same, unwavering stance on this matter, as the mooch will most surely attempt to convince Louise and yourself that you aren’t serious about excluding her from your fun.

Happy trails my dear….


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